And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
