1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
