i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
