you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you had me at cake vodka
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
