Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
