does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
