I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
