remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
