two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
