I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
