ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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