I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
