its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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