We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
