Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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