My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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