Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
