I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
organizing the empties. That sober.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
