Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Its about making memories worth repressing
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
