I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize