Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
