Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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