shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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