I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
