You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
