I wish I only lived at night.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
