Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
