Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
