I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
