are you so shy because you have an std?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize