do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize