she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
