I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
