Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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