I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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