Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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