So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
