she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
