did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
