I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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