Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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