i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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