Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
