i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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