Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
