: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
