i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
