She said her name was "party"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
