dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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