Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
