i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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