Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
