I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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