Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
worst night to have a conscience
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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