Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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