Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
