This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
