She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
