I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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