Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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