You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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