is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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